Dustice

Chris Choi is having a baby! Well not him, actually - specifically, his wife is having the baby and he’s uh… making a checklist of things he’s going to do when she has the child. But congratulations to him on his daughter!  Here’s a few of his points that I feel are particularily important, and which I will definitely borrow in parenting Chrysanthemum in the future:

• when picking her up at school, honk the car horn, roll down window, wave and yell her name as loud as possible.  also do this in wifebeater and shorts. (Free t-tshirt and swishy pants, imo. I’d also like to be a substitute teacher for a couple days.)

• accidentally wear one of her jackets and walk around the house saying, “i don’t get why this doesn’t fit”

• tell her she needs to go to harvard.  do this starting at kindergarten. (Stanford, man. Stanford.)
• if she starts wearing clothes i feel is slightly inappropriate - do not chastise her.  instead, find out where she bought the clothes- buy extra large versions and wear it.  extra points if you synchronize with her.
• record the word “da da”.  put a tape player underneath her crib and loop it.  then bet mom, that her first word is gonna be yours.
• and finally - love her with all your heart and raise her to be the beautiful person she is. (awwwwwwwww)

And finally a picture of the type of dad I think we should all aspire to be: